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"Serve G-d in Joy, come
When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure, When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure, When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems, When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.
Apparently, ice is really bad for you. Warn all your friends
On a beautiful Sunday afternoon, in the midst of the French Revolution, the revolting citizens lead a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine.
They ask the priest if he wants to face up or down when he meets his fate. The priest says he would like to face up so he will be looking towards heaven when he dies. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. The authorities take this as divine intervention and release the priest.
The drunkard comes to the guillotine next. He also decides to die face up, hoping that he will be as fortunate as the priest. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. Again, the authorities take this as a sign of divine intervention, and they release the drunkard as well.
Next is the engineer. He, too, decides to die facing up. As they slowly raise the blade of the guillotine, the engineer suddenly says, "Hey, I see what your problem is ..."
I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world.
I told them to flake off!!
Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!
Candle Lighting time in
North Palm Beach Florida
June 21, 2013
Shabbat is over
Inspiration from the Lubavitcher Rebbe
There are two paths you could take:
An easier path or a harder one.
Knowing that G-d is everything, you may wish to reject all the world stands for. Since everything is emptiness, you may deny yourself even necessities, living far and removed from the banalities of mankind, engaging only in the truths of the spirit, running from the confines of physical, mundane life.
This is the easier path.
On the other hand, knowing thatwithin each thing G-d can be found,you may be inspired to refine and elevate our world, struggling with all its facets to find their true purpose, grabbing every opportunity to squeeze out a little more of the world's inherent good, living a spiritual life by using physical things in an enlightened way.
Both paths are true paths, and great sages have trod them both.
But the second, more difficult one is the one we will all have the most benefit from, especially today.
In this week's Torah portion we read, "G-d said...'take the sum of all the congregation of the Children of Israel from 20 years and upward.' " (Num. 26:1,2)
The Midrash explains that the Jewish people have been counted nine times; the tenth and final census will be taken in the Messianic Era.
This will be done either by Moshiach - according to the Aramaic translation and commentary of Rabbi Yonatan ben Uziel,
or by G-d Himself - according to the Midrash.
(Lubavitcher Rebbe, Shabbat Chukat 5750)
Counts the most.
Wherever u want to go...
From Yetzer, the family of the Yitzrites; from Shilem, the family of the Shilemites (Deut. 26:49)
Our Sages said: "A person is led in the direction he wishes to go." If a person wants to indulge his "yetzer," his evil inclination, he will not be prevented from doing so.
But if he truly strives for wholeness (from the same Hebrew root as "Shilem") and purity, G-d will help him achieve his goal.
(Rabbi Yechiel Michel of Zlatchov)
MURPHY'S OTHER 15 LAWS
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.
4.. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those, who got there first.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
14. God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.
15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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Warmest wishes for a
Kosher Caffeine - by Rabbi Shlomo Ezagui
The difference between pleasure and Joy.
There is a Chassidic saying, "Joy breaks all boundaries".
The Talmud relates, once a great sage in the marketplace encountered Elijah the prophet and asked him, "Is there anyone who has assured his place in the world to come?" Elijah answered to the negative. In the interim, two brothers entered the marketplace and Elijah pointed to them saying, "They merit the world to come." The Rabbi walked over to them and asked, "May I ask, what do you do?" They answered, "We are joyful people,
and we make those who are sad happy. If we hear about an argument, we make peace using humor between those quarreling."
What does it mean to be truly joyous and happy? Where can we purchase this?
First, let us make a clear distinction between pleasure and genuine joy.
Pleasure is temporary. Pleasure is fleeting and superficial and usually comes with a steep personal price at the end. The real long lasting deep happiness and joy, is an experience and a state of being where shallow and artificial experiences are of little value. It almost doesn't matter the outer trappings, when true joy is reached.
Occasionally, a ramp that can connect one with inner joy, or can draw out and enhance true happiness is when we are enjoying ourselves on the exterior superficially. One of the methods the prophets used was song. Song and more precisely melody, has the power to open up a person to the unlimited vibrations of one's soul. However, this experience must be one that is connected to something being developed inside, deeper than just doing it to "feel" good.
The world, i.e. materialism and consumerism for the most part can only offer the temporary sort of pleasure and happiness. More stuff does NOT equal more happiness. By its very nature, the property of physical existence is fleeting. It has a time when it (or its style) came into existence, and it has a time when it ceases to exist. Life attached to and defined by materialism will "always" be bouncing from one "thing" to the next. Hydroplaning on the surface, with small or sometimes large drops and empty holes in between. Spirituality, religion and deep values are the enemies of consumerism. That is why the materialistic world fights so vigorously against religion.
Where's the real joy? The inner deep feeling of being full?
King David in his book of Psalms tells us, "Strength and joy are, in the place of G-d ...The joy of G-d, is your strength...Strength and joy, are in His place." Solid and real inner strength, genuine long-lasting, deep-reaching joy is in G-d and with G-d. This means, strengthening our faith and awareness in spirituality, the G-dliness and therefore absolute goodliness in our lives and in the world. Living a G-dly lifestyle, and making it the way we think, feel and act.
King David had it all. He was a wealthy individual with lots of power at his discretion. Yet, he also had loads of challenges. Family, close confidants and neighbors continuously confronted, defied and challenged him in every single respect
A man who had it all teaches us, "Don't put your trust in princes in the son of man." "Blessed is the person who puts his faith in G-d and G-d is his stronghold." Everything G-d does, since He is perfect is always for the good.
Inner strength, one that lasts under all circumstances and is never extinguished, true joy, comes to a person who lives a life connected and influenced by the spark of G-d within, the soul. Only by living a soul-driven life can a person be truly and deeply, joyous and happy.
#1 Does G-d really exist?
#2, What's the purpose, feeling despondent.
Rosh Chodesh Tammuz, 5730 
My dear Assaf:
I was pleased to receive you letter, but I was very much surprised at the question you asked.
You wrote: "I want to know if Hashem [G-d] really exists."
I will answer it this way: Suppose you were walking in the streets and saw a skyscraper. Would you ask, "Is there someone who made it?" And if this is so with a building of a number of floors what will you say about the whole world, with the sun, moon and stars, oceans and mountains and woods and all the creatures on land and in the seas and so on?
Your other question was, if you daven/pray the rest of the year, will you get a trumpet?
Since you are a thoughtful boy I will again answer it with an illustration: Suppose you were invited to the White House and the President of the United States received you with pleasure and asked you what kind of a present would you like? Would you ask him for a candy? Perhaps you know the story of King Solomon, who was only 12 years old when he became King of all the Jewish people, after his father, King David. G-d appeared to him in a dream and asked him, "What shall I give you?" And all he asked for was a wise and understanding heart! And G-d gave him that as well as everything any person could wish for.
I trust you are learning Hashem's/G-ds Torah with devotion and diligence and conduct yourself the way Hashem wants you to as befitting for a Jewish boy, a son of Abraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov the fathers of our people.
16 Adar, 5712 
... You seem to be disturbed because you feel that you have not attained the proper level in Torah and Mitzvos and cannot see the tachles [purpose] etc., which makes you downhearted.
Leaving the details of your complaints aside, I wish to make several observations:
A feeling of dissatisfaction with one's self is a good sign, for it indicates vitality and an urge to rise and improve one's self, which is accomplished in a two-way method: withdrawal from the present state, and turning to a higher level (see Sichah [talk] of my father-in-law of sainted memory, Pesach 5694).
If the urge to improve one's self leads to downheartedness and inertia, then it is the work of the Yetzer Hora [evil inclination], whose job it is to use every means to prevent the Jew from carrying out good intentions connected with Torah and Mitzvos.
The false and misleading voice of the Yetzer Hora should be stifled and ignored. Besides, as the Baal Hatanya [author of the Tanya, Rabbi Shneur Zalman, founder of Chabad Chasidism] states (Ch. 25), even one single good deed creates an everlasting bond and communion with G-d (ibid., at length). Thus, a feeling of despondency is not only out of place, but is a stumbling block in the worship of G-d, as is more fully explained in the above and subsequent chapters of Tanya.
With regard to understanding, or lack of understanding, of the tachles/purpose, the important thing required of the Jew is contained in the words of the Torah: "For the thing is very nigh unto thee, in thy mouth and in thy heart (and the tachles is) to do it." Understanding is, generally, the second step. The first step is the practice of the Mitzvos....
My prayerful wish to you, as you conclude your letter, is that the next one coming from you will be more cheerful.
It Once happened
2 great stories of the Baal Shem Tov.
When the stranger entered the little synagogue, the regulars were curious - who was he and why had he come to their town. But he was in a great hurry and so, he was relieved to see a quorum of men already assembled, ready to begin the morning prayers. There was no rabbi there, and not wanting to wait, the stranger ascended the bima. The "regulars" were surprised and offended that this unknown man presumed to lead the prayers. After all, who was this fellow, who didn't even have the courtesy to wait a few minutes for the rabbi or the president of the congregation?
The stranger had already begun the morning service when the president arrived. Seeing a stranger at the bima, he rushed up to him and said, "What a chutzpa! Who do you think you are to begin the prayers before the rabbi or I have arrived!" And he continued berating the man in this fashion.
The stranger, however, just kept silent. But his refusal to respond infuriated the president even more and he blurted out, "Don't you see who's speaking to you?"
Finally the stranger replied in a quiet voice, "You also do not see to whom you are speaking."
No sooner had those words been uttered than everything went dark before the president's eyes. He rushed to a doctor, then to a specialist - to several specialists - but no one could find a cause for his sudden blindness. He tried every treatment that was suggested to him, but nothing proved a cure.
Then, it dawned upon him: when had his blindness begun? After he had angry words with the stranger in the shul. Undoubtedly he had offended a hidden tzadik with his words, and this was the consequence of his anger.
In despair, he decided to travel to the Baal Shem Tov. He had heard about this great tzadik; maybe he could help.
"Rebbe, I have heard that you can perform miracles. I have been blind since I angered a certain hidden tzadik. My problem is that I don't know who he is or where I can find him."
The Baal Shem Tov replied, "The man is my disciple, Reb Yaakov Koppel, and you sinned against him with your angry speech. Go to him and beg his forgiveness. If he forgives you, your blindness will be cured."
The man indeed traveled to Reb Yaakov, who accepted his apology. His sight returned as quickly as it had vanished.
The morning prayers had just ended. The Baal Shem Tov, who was an esteemed visitor in the town, was about to wash his hands before partaking of a meal, when a distraught woman approached him. She had waited throughout the whole service and could contain herself no longer.
"Rebbe! My husband has been missing for a very long time. I have done everything I can think of to try to find him, but I have no idea where he went. What will happen to me? Please, Rebbe, help me find him," the woman wept.
The Baal Shem Tov stood there, his washing cup poised to pour water on his hands in preparation for the blessing on bread, but instead of continuing, he stopped and responded to the woman.
"You will find your husband in the city of M."
Infused with new hope, the woman departed. But the rabbi of the city, who had heard a great deal about the Baal Shem Tov, had been watching the exchange. Now he had what seemed to him to be a serious question of Jewish law.
"I beg your pardon," began the rabbi, "I was watching your exchange with the woman, and it seems to me that you were saying words of prophecy to her. If that was true, I think you were required to have washed your hands before speaking."
The Baal Shem Tov responded to the rabbi with a question: "If you saw chickens suddenly fluttering about your table set with expensive glassware, what would your reaction be? I think you would automatically reach out to chase them away."
The rabbi acquiesced, but he clearly was not following the Baal Shem Tov's logic.
"I did what came naturally to me," the Baal Shem Tov continued. "I saw standing before me a woman who was in utter despair almost to the breaking point. I knew where her husband was. Do you imagine that I should have continued washing my hands while she stood suffering before my eyes?"
From The Complete Story of Shavuot by Nisan Mindel, published by Kehot Publications